Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Fun at work-drawings of the patrons

well I have not posted much to begin with but here's a fun filled update with some drawings of the scum that manages to mosey itself into the store, I picked the best of litter from hipster trash to thugs with out a clue. but I think I will start off with the fugly blond and her ever uglier boyfriend rexy
This little cutie pie and her heart throb were coming to get the essentials of pop rocks and lays classics. She seemed like a tempest in a teapot, sneering and giving grumpy remarks to her boyfriend about what was amiss in her life and the snivley suckup listened to her with out muttering a word of grievance.

the girl was definitely a hipster who thinks tearing up an overpriced shirt and safty pinning and stapling it back together in a garish lazy fashion is...fashion, not to mention the little torn up hairdo, a poof of hair ontop with little strands of whats left dangling outside, it looks like a mangled kite went up and crashed into her head and was forgotten. she had ugly raccoon eyeliner and an even uglier massive italian nose. She was a true blond, but bleached the lice out of her hair to make it look "super fake N' shit" it was also accompanied by little hello kitty hair clips that could undoubtedly symbolize her "inner child" that will linger as a spoiled brat attitude through out her miserable life

The boy, who ive nicked rexy, was a piece of work as well. His most notable trait was the off putting mug he threw around. He had a fat nose with outward protruding nostrils and a bulgy bridge to adhere the fat shnooz to his head. He had ugly, squinty, and beady eyes and crows feet under laying, making his sight like that of a 50 yearold. He had horrible teeth ornamented with the best braces subpar insurance can buy. His hair was an ugly brownish black with an over due for a cut long fringe which was bleached at the tips. He also had very wide and fat neck accentuating his already hideous enough head. but his greatest feature of all was the tiny arms he packed, they were so hilariously unfitting with his body, he looked like some sort of hominid T-rex with a bad attitude. He was also somewhat chubby, and wearing tight depressing clothing did not improve his physique. He had a shockingly generic pair of drainpipe pants and black designy shirt which added 0.0002 points to his on top status. He along with his squeeze and about a billion other people with him in spirit were wearing black converses, just peculating with individualism.

I can only imagine this is what they bring when they hit the town

well these next two blobs of sunshine and grace were about as delinquent and adolecently awkward as they get, these little petty thieves are about as slimy as they come.
Boy these thugs were great. wearing the inconspicuous hoody and sweater with large pockets in the 90 degrees of June is one dead give away to preemptive misconduct but thats for later, these goons just screamed of fugly through thier bodies. The lanky gangly one was a hoot to describe, his most amazing feature was his massive jimmy durante nose that poked out of his face like an ugly skyscraper. He had no lips what so ever, and had his tiny mouth agape like a continuously dumbfounded stooge. He had a pencil neck and a chin about as low as they come, not to mention he had a hood up only covering what I would assume is more uglyness on the other side of his mug. he was tall, probably 6'4", but was slouching like a drunk sloth so his height wasn't very well shown, but this appearance still reeked of a starved, lanky chode with out a cause. even though he was tall and big, he had tiny feet, I guess he is just riddled with compensations. and I almost forgot the eyebrows, it was like someone taped handfuls of steel wool to his brows, which hung shadily over his dim eyes.

his little toadie, which can be interpreted in more ways than one, was some what of a foil to him. he was short, plump, dark, lipped, and shaven. this guy was a toadie in appearance and spirit, hopping around his taller counterpart. He was as much of a hooligan as his gangly predecessor but had his own take on goondom. This punk's main feature was his bloated appearance in general. He had a very wide puffed nose that was way to close to his very full lips which would have made his lanky friend envious. he had tiny, squinty, slit eyes which in his whole appearence makes me think he was an indian or hispanic. he was short and stout and had no real body shape other than tiny fat blob. he gelled what hair he had on his head up and was rather clean cut compared to his friend, but managed to have a grimace of disdain or a bad case of loserdom burdening his existence. He was wearing a black dickies sweater in 90 degree weather which sounds both impractical and shady. He may have had bigger feat than his friend, but I wouldn't bet he was much bigger in any way.

these goonies were up to no good, one of my co workers pointed out that he had seen the tiny one put some jerkey in his pants. I had then seen one of the supervisors go over and talk to them, my sup. said they called him "dog" multiple times and that they said they would pay for what they hid, which they so cowardly did. I had also heard from some of my higher ups there that they have encountered these fools on and off before, they had another cronie but they said he is actually serving for petty theft, what a surprise coming from how these goons acted, I would only assume the arrestee told everyone he was lifting and tried to leave with a cart full of cheese wizz and oduls. I hope I see these goons again, you could probably make a comedy about them, "Larson and Kleppy: heist of the hour"

This last guy was about as banel and unmemorable as they come, tight jeans, tight black shirt, tight shoes, stinky moptop, the works for an angsty teen. Yet he was different, he was a mutant, a real life comic book villian, maybe a bumbling cronie at best but here he is with out a moment to spare"""" DUMPY DICK """"I don't think these pictures even come close to justice as to describing this dumpy dope, there was absolutely nothing special about him but the astonishing melting face he was sloshing around, he would be a great toy, say for kids who want nasty gross out things bug their sisters and cloud their action figure collection, they could have X-TREME FACE MELTERZ, messy fun for all ages.

Jeez this kid was some kinda ugly but no mater he's a long gone walking blob of ooze, yet I want to catch this kid again to see that amazing head of his